I wept.
I was fifteen years old, lying in the middle of the bedroom floor with my Bible open in front of me, my watery eyes fixed on the red print. I’d heard the story before. In fact, I’d heard it many times. I knew of the abuse, the hatred, the physical suffering and the ugly death that Jesus endured. And I knew that he endured it for me. But in that moment it became more than a fact that I recognized as truth, it became reality for me.
A perfect and sinless God, dressed in human flesh that bruises and bleeds, laid his life down willingly so that sinner me would be spared an eternity of torment. Spared an eternity apart from Him.
It moved me.
It humbled me.
But what happened?
How did I get from there to here?
How did it become less and less important? How did the core of my faith, the point of the gospel become less meaningful?
Downward spirals are not necessarily a rapid descent, but often gradual, so slow and subtle we don’t see it happening. I didn’t. One too many hard times can harden us. The cares of this life, the disappointments, the suffering, even the pleasures the world offers make it a challenge not to lose our zeal.
But I’m up for a change, a revisiting of my youthful awe of what Christ did for me. Whether I leave this earth by death, rapture, or in a chariot of fire, I want my preceding days to have been lived with a heart still stirred by wonder and humility over God’s greatest gift.
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:16-17
#1 by lala1966 on September 14, 2012 - 3:56 pm
I totally understand what you are saying. God did a miracle in me only a little over a year ago. I thought that I wouldn’t go a day without being thankful and wanting to please Him. I thought that feeling would just automatically stay there. But I realize that we are still only human and life does get in the way. We do have to make a new commitment every day and take off the old nature in us and put on the new and spiritual part of us. I asked God the other day why it couldn’t be as easy to change as it was the first time. But you know, God never leaves our side, it is only us who stray away. This world makes it hard to stay focused but He knows that we are human. (((hugs)))
#2 by juliemomyer on September 14, 2012 - 4:16 pm
So very true! And it’s those deep heart issues that are so hard to overcome. It’s easier to walk away from something you shouldn’t do in the physical, but when the problem is in your heart or will, it isn’t so easy.
Praying for your feet and heart to stay on the right path….mine too
Blessings!